a faux pas so dumb i can't even think of a clever title

in the car with a friend. talking about sex (of course). we're chatting about sex-partner deal-breakers.

he: "i can't have sex with someone with a jacked up grill."
me: "really?"
he: "really."
me: "if he's face down in the pillow - does it matter?"
he: "slut."
me: "well, yes. you knew this."

it continues like this. other nays include: a man with disproportionally small hands/feet (me). a man with cheap looking shoes (him). a man with unclipped nails (me). a man with pancake ass (him). a man who whines about how bigger dicks "hurt" (anyone with sense really. crybaby).

then i say..."i can't have sex with someone whose significantly shorter than me. feels weird. like chris hanson might burst through the door."
he: (laughs) "how short are we talking?"
me: "oh i don't know. like five-nine."
he: "that's not short."
me: "it's chuck-e-cheese short."
he: (silence)
me: (oblivious) "like car-seat short."

i chuckle at my oh-so witty rejoinder. seconds elapse. i continue eating my mentos. more seconds pass. i look over - he's staring straight ahead, lips compressed. looks seriously irked.

and that's when i remember. he's barely skirting five-nine.*

oy. note to self: open mouth/remove foot. plus i must start remembering that when playing a game of "yay or nay" to ensure persons in convo (who are not me) do not possess discussed nays.

*(oh man. this anecdote is totally setting me up to get lambasted by short(er) guys. have no fear - i'm kidding about the height thing. i'm a size queen only for the thing that really matters. ba-dum-bum.)