the things they say about him

musings of a sexual libertine

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

whose gonna ride?

a few things.

1. i'm now officially an (i)pod person. i tried hard to resist. i even had a non-ipod mp3 player. but the time came when i maxed out its capacity and a new one was needed. but i didn't want to subscribe to that whole ipod cachet apple manufactures. and i was ever so earnest and steadfast in my boycott. but it was futile. i succumbed to its charms last weekend and got a hot little number with 30GB of memory. it's a snap to use, easy on the eyes, and obeys my every command.

it's like having a power bottom in my pocket. that plays music.

2. i work in advertising. and was just offered a position with another agency. they're an "a" level agency, do fantastic media campaigns, and offer killer perks (for example? office is closed from before christmas to after new year's. paid). i start with them in two weeks. i'm pumped.

3. the blog. i'm taking a slight hiatus. never fear - it's a very brief one. remember that writing gig that was (potentially) on the horizon? well, i need to get my ass in gear and prep my submission pieces to make it happen. if it i get it, more details will come in the next two weeks. it's awesome - and totally suited for me. so i need to divert all my writing energy to two great money shots. (there's a hint to what this gig is in this statement).

wish me luck.

4. speaking of sex, i have not fucked a single person in about a week. my dick is hurting to plug a nice, hot hole. hurting. woe is me and my throbbing blue balls.


but seriously, i think it's time to shop around for a fuck bud. i enjoy the "chase" in using manhunt/craigslist...but in terms of convenience, i need something more mcdonald's. quick and easy (with "easy" being in every way you can imagine).

i need a guy whom i can email/call - and he knows to be face down/ass up/jock on when i get to his place. on a sidenote, i love plowing the daylights out of a guy at his place. there's a rush in making a guy my bitch sexually in his own place.

as for fuck buds - i'm considering current lays like wonder bread, but i still need to cast a wide net for auditions.

this is probably going to be a challenge for two reasons. first: i need someone with a really high sex drive. it needs to match mine. my sex preferences are definitely more treasure island media - so i need someone who can match me groan for moan. that's not a problem when you rotate a series of guys. but with the same dude? problematic. he almost has to be a sex maniac for it to work right. and finding a sex maniac who isn't a flake? harder to find than a condom at a tina party.

second: for all the specifying i do in an online ad - there are still going to be dudes who say "yeah, i love to trade piss streams" - but who are only saying it because they want to get laid. it's totally fucking annoying - i hate it when dudes say they will do something they are only half-heartedly interested in. i get off on the guy enjoying himself - so if he's blase about it - it brings down my sex high. but hell - what can you do? it's gonna happen no matter what. guys will say anything to get laid. god knows i've done it on occasion. what horndog hasn't? either way, i definitely need a dude whose gonna ride it raw and rough.

so the search is on.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

(more) horn(y) of plenty: eta...

...that the vid from my last post is now unavailable. not sure why...but xtube seems to have taken it down. but i left the link active in case it goes back up.

to recap for those who are curious...a bottom gets tagged team by two (big dicked) raw tops and gets the daylights pounded out of him. top number two shoots a seriously healthy load on the dude's hole. top number one takes full advantage of a lubed-by-cum-hole (always my favorite) and takes it up a notch to plow his the guy.

finally, tn1 drops a load in the dude and pulls out. the camera pans head-on to the bottom - his legs still tucked behind his head. and then, cum starts gushing out of his hole. not trickling - a full-force geyser. within seconds, his hole is completely wet and sloppy from the cum streaming out of his ass.

i seriously wanted to stick my dick through the screen to join in and add my load. oh well.

so here's more things i'm thankful for.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

horn(y) of plenty

and just in time for thanksgiving.

you know what i'm thankful for? bottoms with this sort of skill. (warning: the vid quality is grainy. also? NSFW.

but the best part? the last few seconds (3 mins and 17 secs in). if you can - wait for it - the build-up is worth it.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

go watch this show

i'm completely unmasking my previously hidden geek tendencies - but the question must be asked:
  • are you watching 'heroes'? if not - then you really fuckin' should.
the show totally kills it every episode. the writing, plotting, the acting: all awefuckingsome.

and tonight's episode? kicked all kinds of ass.

go watch it.

Friday, November 17, 2006

ordering in

the door opens. but just a sliver, so i can only see an eye, a nostril and part of his mouth. the room beyond him is dark - his features in shadow.

"you're for what i requested?"
i shrug my shoulders. "yeah. they sent me. you called - i came.

the door opens wide. he's in slacks and untucked shirtsleeves. barefoot. older guy in his 40s. salt/pepper hair and five o'clock shadow. good looking in a taciturn way.

"we'll see about that." he finally says. he stands to the side. i slink past him.

i’m on 24th floor of a hotel just off the mag mile. it's one of the better (read: expensive) hotels, so i had to arrive early to walk past the lobby without being stopped. as i enter, i see the room isn't as dark as i first thought - just heavily dimmed. as expected, it's a big room with upscale decor. there's a closed laptop on the desk by the window. a suit jacket is hanging from the desk chair. i look at the nightstand: there's a bottle of lube and a few condoms on top.

i take my coat off. i'm in basic dress mode: jeans, sneakers. fitted gray tee.

i casually extend my arms out to the side. "you like?"

he looks me up and down. this goes on a second too long; he’s being deliberate and wants me to know it. then, out of nowhere, emerges a cocky smile.

"you'll do."

i stand by the bed as he takes his clothes off. he's got a daddy's body to match the face. clipped chest hair. hairy legs, with nice quads and hams. he's meaty all over in a well-built way – but has a hint of a paunch. muscle gone slightly to seed – which only looks good on the right sort of man. he's working the ex-coach vibe well and knows it.

"you know what to do?" he asks. "they tell you what i like?"

this time i stare. and i slowly - deliberately - stick my hands in my pockets. he gets the hint - walks over to the chair and pulls a white envelope out of the interior pocket of his suit jacket and places it on the desk. then, he sits down.

i strip down to black briefs. i go kneel in front of him. i pull his waistband down and his dick pops out.

it's decent looking. cut and around seven inches, it has a slighly larger-than-average head that comes to a slight point. not something from TIM or machofucker - but still a good size. it curves sharply upward, which makes the next step easy: i put it in my mouth.

"yeah." he tilts his had back. mouth open.

i've said it before - i give great head. i may not get fucked, but i know other ways to work a guy’s dick. more importantly - i enjoy giving great head. my trick? variation. unless a guy really digs something i'm doing with my mouth/tongue - i keep it random. also? i keep my tongue in the back of my mouth, with no teeth and plenty of spit. when your dick is in my mouth, i want it to feel like the best hole you ever stuck your dick into it.

his hands are on my head. but lightly – and barely guiding – which is always a good sign. that means i’m leading rather than following. and that means i’m giving him the kind of head he likes.

i pull away and spit strings connect from my mouth to the head of his dick. he looks down at me. i return the look – while sticking my thumb and forefinger in my mouth. i work them in and out, then reach forward and tweak his nipple. and i do the same with the other. his hips buck forward; he presses my head back down to his crotch.

a few more minutes. i stop again to lick my hand. this time, I work my tongue on the spot between his dick and hole, while jacking his dick with my spit-lubed hand.

“you like that cock, don’t you, son?”, he says.

with the right guy, in the right place – i become a total Sub. where being told what to do is almost as much a turn on as the actual act. this is one of those times. again, i pull away. i expect him to get irritated – but he just looks at me. dead in the eye. waiting.

i take this opportunity to play with his dick. it’s really hard now - with smaller veins striated all along the shaft. i (lightly) slap it around my hands. jack the shaft. lick his balls. i put just the head in my mouth and swirl my tongue around it. then, i dive back down to swallow his entire dick, using it to reverse pile-drive my face. his head is hitting the back of my throat. my mouth can’t hold back all the spit i’m using; it’s running down his dick into his pubes.

his dick goes really hard. then, he says:

"i’m gonna shoot. i’m gonna cream in your mouth."

he’s part telling me and part asking. mouth full, i look up – hold his eye – and nod.


his hands clamp down on my head. a pretty decent amount of cum is dumped in my mouth; salty, hot, with a faint taste of peanuts (no pun intended). i pull away, leaving some cum sliding down his dick.

we stay like that: him sitting, me kneeling in front of him. finally he says,

"you want to get off or do you need to head out?"

at this point, there’s no way i’m gonna be able to walk normally without popping out a load. wordlessly, i take his hand and slide it around his dick. after his hands been sufficiently greased with cum-spit, i stand up and place it on my dick.

he understands. he greases my dick up, taking slow, full strokes. we both stare at my dick, now wet with my spit and frothy with his cum.

i pretty much shoot immediately.

i wipe myself up and dress as he throws his shirt back on. we move toward the door.

"so," i start, "was that what you were looking for?"
he smiles. "fuck yeah, guy. you put on a damn good show."
"you were pretty good yourself," i say as i head towards the door. "not bad for a guy who has never role-played before."
he smiles again, clearly pleased. "i almost forgot we talked this out via manhunt."
exiting, i grin. "yeah. me too."

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

happy birthday, my little boy

happy birthday, travis barker. in interviews and tv shows you come across as an irredeemable fucktard - but there is no denying that you are a fine piece of ass and fall right into what my ultimate fuck buddy would look like.

it's a too bad you are known in the tabloids for divorcing or "making out with" (i.e., fucking) used-up (bottle) blondes.

a shame really.

if you are going to fuck around with someone who is trashy, let's have a sense of irony about it, eh?

Saturday, November 11, 2006

fucking: the united nations edition

earlier this week i was jerking off to an online clip of a russian dude pounding the hell out of a bottom. porn-wise, he was the usual russian type: into slightly raunchy sex, nicely built, huge uncut dick, and gregarious (at one point while fucking, he laughed and flashed the camera the "rock 'n' roll" finger sign).

this got me thinking about sex i've had with non-american queers. and i realized that depending on the country, each of my fucks fell into similar trends.

i should emphasize these are nationals i'm referring to - not those of american extraction. each fuck mentioned was born and raised in the corresponding country.

i'm being (partially) humorous here - so try not to take offense. this isn't a document going to kofi anan, so this isn't gonna make any country "look bad". it's just sex, y'all.

the UK: obviously, there are exceptions to what i'm about to say, but the brits i fucked around with the sack. no verbal. no rough stuff. certainly no spitting. there was one briton i fucked a handful of times and the set-up never changed. i met him at the hotel room (he was a flight attendant). we briefly chatted. i fucked him doggy...and that was it. not one drop of sweat was exerted. which worked for me since he was a lunch time fuck, but still...

i still haven't fucked a scot or an irishman, but i've always gotten the impression either one would be (a)drunk and (b)playful in the sack. of course, this is all based upon colin ferrell movies.

italy: if you've been to la italia, you realize a wealth of fucakble guys (gay & hetero) exists there. italian guys tend to be the most straightforward europeans - particularly if it's related to something that turns them on. so i'm sad to say that the three italians i was involved with all had a hard time turning themselves on. and each one was secretive about the whole gay/sex thing. and while i love me some secret sex - getting them in the bed was an ardorous process. dare i generalize? could the famed italian machismo play a factor? are they afraid to give the hole up to another dude? i wonder. think about it: have you ever seen a gay porn video featuring all italian nationals? i haven't.

france: haven't banged a gay french dude yet. do they exist? because i have yet to meet one. they're elusive and mysterious. like unicorns.

greece: i've only fucked one greek guy, but that was in college (and i was drunk beyond belief), so there are no surviving records. sorry, folks.

russia: the dirtiest whores in the sack. i've had sex with four russian nationals, and each one was a trashy fuck. this is different from fetish/edgier sex (more on that later). this is straight up guerilla sex. the russians i've fucked have shown a complete openess to fucking anywhere, anytime. examples include: fucking in a parking garage stairwell in broad daylight. a three-way with a set of russian boyfriends that involved a sling, elbow grease, and a set of dildos.

and there was a particularly memorable fuck involving 100+ degree weather and a cramped apartment with no air conditioning:

Russian Fuck 1: take your clothes off.
ME: sweet talking me? is unnecessary. for real.
RF1: ...we do not have much time. my boyfriend will be home soon.
ME: won't your place smell like fucking, then?
RF1: da. that's the idea.

norway/sweden/denmark: in my younger years, i had a slight predilection for the whole nordic type - but i never (yet) had the opportunity to test drive.

there are still continents i have yet to explore: most asiatic countries (although once at steamworks, me and a chinese dude did take turns fucking his boyfriend). latin and south america (although once at a club, i did make out with a super butch papi from puerto rico). africa. australia/new zealand.

there's been a surge in videos featuring (supposedly) middle eastern dudes, but i've yet had the opportunity to fuck one. i'd certainly like to, since hairy dudes are a weakness of mine. i've also yet to fuck a canadian, although i can certainly think of one who is definitely on my "must fuck immediately" list.

and now...libertine's country of choice in terms of sex:

germany: yeah. i know, not a surprise considering what i get into. i've fucked around with several german nationals, and every last one was a freak on a leash. i've had the most "my first" with german men: and i've had a lot of "firsts", so that should tell you something. you can piss on a german dude, Sub him out, make him "take" a load (or two. or seven.) up the ass and he will still also want to get fisted. also? never met a german dick smaller than 8+ inches. and if they were smaller - the circumference was that of a beer can.

but the most crucial reason i enjoy germans? german men can bottom like no one else. topping a german guy is not just a fuck - it's an experience. it's like going on an all-expense paid trip to FuckVille: you'll have a great time and you know you'll visit again. if a guy mentions in his profile that he is a german national, i immediately perk up because i know it's on. if i spy a german national, i know (a) to break out the full inventory (b) to slot more an hour.

or two. or seven.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

the wonder (bread) fuck: the sequel

it's tuesday after work. wonder bread just arrived to my place a few minutes ago. we're in the kitchen; he's drinking a glass of water. he gulps it down, and very deliberately sets the glass down on the counter. stares silently.

i smile at him - no teeth. "what's up?"
"not much. the usual."

boom. we grab each other - tongues in mouths. as at his office, we're careening around the kitchen. at one point, we bash into the fridge so hard the spiderman toy i have on top of it topples, falls to the floor.

"bedroom. now." that? was him.
i flatten my hand and paddle his ass. "i give the orders."
second of silence ticks by. "absolutely."
i whack his ass again. "absolutely, what?"
he almost spoils it by grinning. "absolutely...sir."

we move to the bedroom. it's been prepped. wrists restraints. two dildos. bandana. but his eyes go to the item i've been fixated on all day while at work.

a tub of crisco.

i love using crisco in sex. there's nothing like shoving a wad of grease up a dude's ass and then sticking your dick in. seeing my dick (or any dick) greased up in a guy's hole? beyond awesome.

we had intended to do a protracted Dom/Sub scene and work up slowly to fucking. we both know that's not going to happen.

i tell him to strip. seconds later, he's down to a jock and boots. i bend him 90-degrees on the bed - legs spread and ass out so i can eat his hole. before he arrived, i turned the heat up in the bedroom; so now the room is hot. in no time, sweat has popped up all over him. i can feel beads on my back and running down my legs. he's moaning. hearing this, my dick is now pounding.

i ease him up onto the bed, face down. tie the bandana across his eyes. slip the restraints around his wrists and connect them to the headboard.

WB: oh please sir, eat my asshole out some more.
ME: how badly do you want it?
WB: i need it real bad, sir.

i take my time rimming him. lots of tongue. lots of spit. after awhile, his hole is wet. he's moaning and bucking his ass towards my face. at one point, i move forward to lie on his back. we kiss.

ME: that's what your hole tastes like.

while i'm rimming him, despite being blindfolded, he turns his head to look back at me. and it's that image: the sweat drenched, blindfolded face - with an expression that says he clearly is loving what's being done to him - that drives me to the edge. i slide my dick into his hole.

it goes in perfectly. we moan almost at the same time. and his hole is hot. just from that, i nearly shoot my load. i crouch over him - my dick in him - not moving.

wonder bread or not, he knows what's going on. he decides to flex. i slap the side of his ass. we both laugh.

ME: i doubt you want me to shoot now
WB: not at all, sir. just thought i'd mess with you.
ME: i figured as much. that's why i hate to do this
WB: do what?

i pull out. he makes an "aww..." noise, but moans again as i slide in a finger i just lubed with my mouth. i finger and tongue fuck him for a bit - occasionally using the dildo.

after awhile - i jump off the bed.

WB: where'd you go?
ME: shh.

he still can't see anything, but he twists his head around. blindfolded. spread-eagled to the bed. covered in sweat with his hole leaking spit. i have to say, he looks fucking amazing.

and what was i doing? i was lubing the second dildo with crisco. i slide it in. he immediately starts with the "fuck yeahs" and "harder". i plug his ass with a huge glob of crisco - and alternate the dildo and my dick. finally:

WB: i need it real bad now, sir.
ME: need what, boy?
WB: your dick, sir. a real dick in my ass. i need you to pound me good, sir.

i have no objections to that statement; i'm ready to pound the shit out of him. i remove the restraints and blindfold, get him flat on his back. wonder bread reaches over, grabs another glob of crisco, strokes my dick and pulls me into his hole.

it's a rough fuck. i usually like to pace it - but we are fucking like animals. i hold his legs straight up so i can pound him deep - pulling all the way out and pile driving all the way in.

we look each other in the eyes. you know that look? that look where you know the other person is loving the fuck just as much as you are? that's the look we give each other. we both stare at each other dead in the eye like that the entire time we fuck.

he shoots first. i seed his hole right after that. i look at the load on his stomach and chest - lick some off and feed it into his mouth.

my dick is still in him; but tapped out. i tell him i have to go pee.

WB: do it here.
ME (raise an eyebrow): where?
WB: you know where. clean my hole for me.

so i do.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

shout outs

these guys are dope.

and this post? even doper. thanks for the shout out, m.o.c.

also? i may have a kick ass writing gig coming up. more info to follow as the details are figured out.

i also need to take a moment and mention that i've "met" some really cool seeming people via the blogosphere. and all of them have been courteous enough to allow me to add them to my 'sites i enjoy' list. this ain't just a superflous title: i like to catch up on their writings/postings regularly. recent additions are:
be sure to check out their work.

lastly? i fucked wonder bread again this week. i hope to have the post up this weekend.